Dating Woes of the Late Twenties Girl

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

I'm not a big dater.  It's awkward and uncomfortable and those are typically the types of situations I try to avoid.  "But Beth" you say, "How do you expect to get to know a guy and get married and live happily ever after?"  Well my friend, that's a whole other story that we'll save for another time when it's later in the day and I have a glass of wine handy.  For now, just know that when I tell dating stories and say it happened to "a friend", it actually did happen to a friend.  That is not code for me.

So, as I said, I'm not a big dater but I have this one friend who is a serial dater.  I don't think she's paid for a meal in months.  Like, who really has dates on Tuesday nights?! My friend.  We'll call her Karen (simply because I don't have any friends named Karen, I don't think). 

Karen is 28, single, funny, has a good job as a teacher, works out 5 days a week, is very pretty... all of the good things in a person that make you a catch.  Her problem is that she is VERY picky.  I've had some bad dates before and even a few that I had someone call me with a fake emergency so that I could leave early but nothing on the Karen scale.  My favorite is that she didn't call a guy back because he was wearing loafers with no socks.  I'm sorry, what?! I don't even think that's a faux pas anymore- isn't it allowed now for guys? Who can keep track really.  She said he was early thirties, perfectly nice, handsome and he even held the door open for her; but those loafers.  She stuck out the date but never called him after that night and I give her so much crap for it.

I've known Karen for a few years now and she's been a serial dater ever since we met.  It's exhausting to watch, I'm not sure how she has the energy to go out and try to impress someone every night.  Nevertheless she is some kind of a super woman and never gets tired or down on herself when the dates don't go well.  She's 28 so she gets the obvious pressure that all of us single gals get about joining a dating website but she has the same feelings about them as I do- No.  Not for us.

A few weeks back she went on a date with this new guy that she met at a gas station while she was filling up (only Karen could meet a dateable guy at the gas station).  He suggested a fancyish restaurant and even offered to pick her up on the way.  Apparently a lot of guys don't offer that anymore on the first few dates because if it goes bad you'll need your own get-a-way car.  Everything was going great. Appetizers: great conversation- he works at a finance company in town, talks to his parents every week or so and has 2 sisters.  Main course: she might be falling in love- he volunteers at the YMCA during the summer teaching little league football, he was just as indecisive with his major in college as her and he thinks it's cute that she repaints her walls at least once a year because she gets tired of the color.  Dessert: wait, what happened? He excused himself to go to the restroom and never came back.  I'm serious!  She waited for like 15 minutes then actually had to ask the waiter to go in to the restroom to check on him!  Oh my gosh.  Turns out he went up to the bar and paid for his own portion of the meal then just left.  (At least he didn't stick her with the whole bill?)  She swallowed her pride and tried to call him hoping that maybe there was some kind of an emergency that would require someone to leave without saying anything but of course there wasn't.  He didn't answer and hasn't called in the weeks since.

As petrifying as this would be for anyone, it was especially bad for Karen because she was so used to having the power on the date.  She had left in the middle of dates before but NEVER had she just vanished without saying anything and not called!  Poor Karen.  Now she's in a serious funk and is blaming it on her 28th birthday that just happened in December.  She says that 22 yr old Karen just would not have been walked out on, no matter what she may have said or done that apparently made this guy bolt.  I think she's being silly but she hasn't gone on a date since that night.  It's only been like 3 weeks but that's an eternity for her.  Now her mom is even more annoying about signing up for online dating and it's putting pressure on her that's totally freaking her out.

I'm kind of hoping that she reads this and sees how ridiculous the whole story is.  Fake Karen- you are FABULOUS and this guy is a weirdo.  Seriously, I'm more concerned about the fact that you were so enamored with a dude who would bolt from a date like this than the fact that he actually bolted from the date.  Everyone has horror dating stories, it has nothing to do with your age.

I'm gonna need some girl power to back me up on this one.  Help my friend Karen get her juju back!

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