No regrets? Yeah right.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

I don’t believe that anyone truly has no regrets about their life.  I know that I have regrets, definitely one in particular that I wish I could go back and warn 16 year old Beth about (she was such a dummy).
Dear High School Beth,
You will soon become friends with some people that you should RUN from.  Although they are warm-hearted, wonderful, funny and smart, they will wreck you and ruin your relationships with some of the girls you call best friends now.
                Love, Future Beth

PS. Don’t get bangs your junior year of college, it’ll be a really bad choice.

I talked about this with my bestie Alli over Thanksgiving (going home always makes me so introspective!).  Someone once explained to her that they had no regrets because every mistake they had made, every wrong step had ultimately led them to where they are today- which is a good place- so they can’t regret those decisions.  I’m sorry but you've got to be kidding me.

I’m a big believer in fate.  Not so much fate as in the world has a plan for me but more so that God has a plan for me.  He lets us make mistakes and wrong decisions so that we can learn from them and bring us back to the “straight and narrow” path He has set for us to walk towards Him.  However it’s our free will to make those decisions and walk away from the path He laid for us.

In my case, one could argue that if I hadn’t become friends with these people then I maybe wouldn’t have gone to Texas A&M or I wouldn’t have learned to value my own self-opinion above how the world sees me or that I wouldn’t have had the same opportunities to go abroad and discover my true passion for global nonprofit work.  However my response to this argument is that I believe God still would have put experiences and people in my life (probably more positive experiences and people) to help me reach the same end points.  I just wish that I hadn’t walked so far from His path for me and let these other people run my life for so long.  I wish that I hadn’t let someone else convince me who I should and shouldn’t be friends with.  I wish that future Beth had really been able to send that message to High School Beth.

But it’s in the past now and it can’t be changed, which makes it a regret.  All I can do is keep trying to mend fences, keep trying to be a better person tomorrow than I am today and take time to pray each day that God helps me make decisions that follow His will for my life.


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