Mood-telling Soda

Friday, October 4, 2013



Around the office I’ve realized that I can tell people’s moods by what soda they’re drinking.  There is some training event going on this week that I’ve been helping set up and break down so it’s the perfect time to test my hypothesis (like any good science major would do).  Each morning I load up coolers with drinks and each afternoon I note how many are left of each.

Coffee remains the workplace drink of choice so it doesn’t factor into my theory.  You could go ahead and hook some of my coworkers up to a coffee IV.  Water has remained pretty constant too.  Even when people are chugging down liquid sugar, they still understand they’ll get dehydrated if they don’t drink water.  On the other hand, the amount of the different sodas consumed varied greatly as the week progressed.  I’m happy to report that the results confirmed my recent realization so now I’ll share it with all of you (let’s be serious, I would have told you anyways).

Level 1:  Diet Coke- No big problems, just normal work load.  Kind of a casual, I’m still cognizant enough to kind of care about my health kind of day.
Level 2:  regular Coke-  Stressed.  Your day is dragging and you needed an extra boost to get you through.  You’ve lost your inhibitions and just want to get home.
Level 3:  Dr. Pepper-  The crap is hitting the fan and flying directly on to you.  Nothing is going right in the world so you had to turn to the only thing that won’t let you down, the 23 delicious flavors of Dr. Pepper.
Threat Level Midnight:  Mountain Dew- At this point the world should be cataclysmically falling apart around you.  Work is pulling you in a thousand different directions at once, your boss has lost their mind, your car broke down, your cat is sick and your mom was just arrested.

The first day of training everyone was drinking Diet Coke.  Next day, a few regular cokes added in to the mix.  The last day, barely any Diet Cokes were missing but almost all of the Cokes were gone.  There were a few people who had switched over to Dr. Pepper too.  Those they had to bring on their own because I didn’t put any out.  I’m telling you, it’s serious when they ignore the free drinks to pay for their own soda.

Remember, this is at work. I understand many people would have switched to an alcoholic beverage long before Threat Level Midnight if this was outside of the office.   I’ll also say that I know some people live at one level or another.   Now I can gauge someone’s mood before they even get to my cube so I think this is going to be a big help.  Crap, he’s coming to talk to me and he’s on his 3rd Dr. Pepper of the day!  Don’t talk to Susie today…. I saw her with a Mountain Dew this morning.


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